then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
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I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
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If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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