I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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