i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
