oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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