Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
