Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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