If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
