Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
