I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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