quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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