Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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