is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
