dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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