I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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