I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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