omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
