The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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