god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
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When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh god it's open bar.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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