Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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