u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
