She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
