how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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