What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You took a bar mat shot.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
