Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
