So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
