I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
No subtext here. People are naked.
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You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
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i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize