She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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