don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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