Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize