Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize