the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
