what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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