End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
