What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I will be naked everywhere
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
