the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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