what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
