i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
