I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i've created a new STD.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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