is your mom at the bar?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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