I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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