Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize