Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
