Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
