The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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