He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
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all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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