bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
