Ambien. No doubt about it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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