Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.