I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.