Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"