You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are