I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going