New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.