ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
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Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
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I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear