are you still at the devil's house?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!