Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.