Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla