handjob tips. give me some.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count