If i come over, it means nothing
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.