So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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