i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
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It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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