Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
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Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
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I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
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