giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
