watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
