He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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